Ye Olde Rocket Forum

Go Back   Ye Olde Rocket Forum > Weather-Cocked > FreeForAll
User Name
Password
Auctions Register FAQ Members List Calendar Today's Posts Search Mark Forums Read


Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #11  
Old 11-18-2019, 03:06 PM
Earl's Avatar
Earl Earl is offline
Apollo Nut
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 4,893
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill S
Amen brother!

BUT, parents make it really hard to do the above when they decide to move away from the kids, in my case, 3 hours for Dad, and 7 hours for Mom. I don't know what they are thinking when they move away from their support structure, even when told "I don't know how I am going to be able to help you out when you need it when you are older".


Yes, that is quite true, and for those who are way apart (even because THEY moved away from their parents, which is quite common, obviously), that is an extra 'hell' to have to go through; knowing you want to help, knowing they NEED help, but being too far away to make anything effective happen. Slow torture, to be sure. We did that with both my grandmothers, who were both widowed six weeks apart in early '91, but they lived four hours away. Arranging care and such for them long distance was quite a challenge at times.

My parents divorced when I was just out of college and had started my first 'real' job. Mom was somewhat disabled even then, and I had a younger sibling just starting college. Neither were self-sufficient at that point (far from it), and I knew I'd need to 'stay on' to help them, for a year or two, or thereabouts. So I thought. That turned into five years, then ten passes, Mom's health fails more, the younger sibling has health issues, then another ten passes, and before one knows it, a 'temporary' help situation has become, basically permanent.

After severe cancer, Parkinson's, diabetes, bad arthritis, on top of long pre-existing depression issues (post-partum issues with all three kids which spiraled way, way down), Mom developed Lewy Body Dementia, which was a very difficult and extremely sad seven year battle that ended three years ago this October. I would not wish that disease on my worst enemy, but Mom went through that and many, many issues before she left this world.

It still breaks my heart to think about what she went through, but we took care of her here at home the entire time while I was working full time and sleeping on the couch upstairs (and many times in the room with her, as she would get up many, many times in the middle of the night and do things, or try to do things, that were quite unsafe, not really knowing at all what she was doing).

BUT...and this is a VERY important 'but': there were many, many blessings in those years of care for her that I would not trade for a king's ransom. I know it was the right thing to, and we were blessed that we were able to 'keep things together' the entire time, though there were many days I was not sure I could make it to tomorrow. I knew the very first day she was gone, I would hope again for even the worst day just to have her back, and I was right. There was a terrible void and their still is. But I wouldn't do anything different.

Dad is about three hours away, long remarried and, at 82, in pretty good health and very active. He has his wife to take care of him, though she has had her share of health issues of late, but is some years younger than him. But, the time may come when we'll have to work out something for his care, too. We'll cross that bridge when the time comes.

In each case though, we must do what we can. It is the right thing to do, and in the end, you'll be glad you put forth the effort on their behalf.

Earl
__________________
Earl L. Cagle, Jr.
NAR# 29523
TRA# 962
SAM# 73
Owner/Producer
Point 39 Productions

Rocket-Brained Since 1970
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:30 AM.


Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.0.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Ye Olde Rocket Shoppe © 1998-2024